Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
