You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize