Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
