I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
