There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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