i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
