I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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