But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The uberlube is also flammable
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
