jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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