She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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