Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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