I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize