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Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
