just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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