Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
