That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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