i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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