My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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