I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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