I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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