Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
