I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
