dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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