she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
