Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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