No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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