is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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