Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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