Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
