It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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