Banned from zoo.
Again?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
