Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
