Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
