I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
