Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My dick has a subreddit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
