I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
