Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
