I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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