Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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