he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
