I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
