You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
