Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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