How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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