I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
