ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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