We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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