I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
