Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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