Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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