just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
