Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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