capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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