god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
