Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
