I hate all girls vehemently.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
