God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
