question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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