I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
