i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
