Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
