You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
