CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
