im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
