Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
