you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize