This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
